Place archive - Start Escape!

Pärnu – Estonia

July 31, 2016/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks!

Pärnu is a marvelous town by the Baltic Sea. The beach in there is just great. There’s a bit of everything and that’s why it is only just that the town has two slogans. There were too many good proposals to choose from and that’s why the sensible people of the city decided to stick with two. Which one do you like the best: (1) Pärnu – Estonia ‘s native town! or (2) Pärnu – JUST SEE!

I really love both of them but I started to wonder, what were the proposed slogans that made it to the top 10 list but were not selected. I contacted the city hall of Pärnu and Hele (the wonderful assistant of the mayor) sent me a list. As I am a kind fella, I will share some of the ones that caught my attention.

Here’s the first one: Pärnu – Just enough of groove! Isn’t that fantastic. Just enough, but clearly not too much. Nothing over the top. You do not have to check your travel insurance before entering into the night of the city.

And another one of my favorites: Pärnu – Sand in all the right places! Some ad agency has clearly been involved in designing these. Who else would come up with these ideas. It’s good to know that there’s sand in all the right places but ruling out the opposite would be more important. With a little upgrade the idea could have become selected. How about: Pärnu – No sand in the wrong places!

Finally the last one of my favorites on the top 10 list: Pärnu – Just Do It. This is really cool, although it resembles a work of someone else and could be a rip off. I do not mean the other Pärnu-slogan (Pärnu – JUST SEE!). I mean this: Do It

-Gart

Alexanderplatz – Berlin

June 29, 2016/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks!

I know you are wondering what Europe will look like after Brexit. Since I am so nice, I will share the intel I have with you. I rented a time machine, travelled in time almost to year 2017 (ie. 2016) and landed on Alexanderplatz. Europe after Brexit seems to look clowdy, slightly futuristic and definitely pompous. Basically the whole of Berlin seemed a bit darker. Some local said to me that winter is coming right after the summer and autumn. He seemed trustworthy, although a bit depressed. He kept mumbling something about Brexit II and the vikings in Iceland, but it was beyond my understanding. Could it mean that the English get to vote to leave United Kingdom or even the island of Great Britain. Maybe England and Iceland will form an union. The future seems to be as interesting as it was last week.

-Gart

Alcatraz – The White House

March 11, 2016/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks,

Clint Eastwood went through hell to escape from the federal prison in Alcatraz Island. The escape was captured on film by a marvelous documentarist Don Siegel, and later published in a movie documentary titled Escape from Alcatraz. It’s a classic! Now Donald Trump is trying the same in reverse, when he runs for President of the United States. Oh my dear! There must be a parallel universe where things are the other way around: Donald Trump tries to escape from the infamous Alcatraz and Clint Eastwood runs for president. Just imagine the campaign Clint is running in the parallel universe. This Ennio Morricones composition is played as Clint’s entrance song in a candidate debate: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Theme. Clint looks right into the camera and says calmly but firmly: “People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook. I’ve earned everything I’ve got”. The crowd goes crazy. Crazy is as crazy does and that saying goes for Mr. Donald as well. If Donald Trump was to be placed behind bars, I’m not too convinced that the right place is behind the bars that are placed on the backyard lawn of the White House.

-Gart

Technoparc, Montréal – Canada

December 30, 2015/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks,

Visiting Montreal in Canada, what a way to finish the year!

Wayne Gretzky, Neil Young, Pamela Anderson, Jim Carrey, Leonard Cohen, William Shatner and Scotty, Ben Johnson, Mike Myers, Steve Nash, Keanu Reeves, Jacques Villeneuve and many, many others were given to the world by the generous people of Canada, or more formally the Democratic People’s Republic of Canada. And how did the world respond to the generosity of the Canadians. Well, quite well I would say. In return a Canadian random dude named Kyle Broflovski was given one of the leading parts in a super popular TV-series South Park.

One might wonder what is left in Canada when the stars in all areas of life have left from there. That’s a fair question and deserves an answer. Not much I guess. There’s still Technoparc Montréal, it’s kind of cool if you are into all kind of weird things like science. But please be a responsible adult (even in Canada), try protecting your children from science or they may end up like Jesse Pinkman.

– Gart

Dingwall – Scotland

December 29, 2015/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks,

In the Highlands of Scotland you may still hear the echo of Sir William Wallace’s voice: “… they may take our lives, but they’ll never take… our freedom! Or maybe it was Sir Wallace’s squire Mel Gibson who used those inspiring words. It’s difficult to remember all the details precisely after over 700 years. Sir Wallace and Mr. Gibson spent many of their holidays in Dingwall which is even today one of Scotland’s main attractions – plenty to do and a lot to see, if it is not raining. Sir Wallace was appointed as the Guardian of Scotland but later hanged, drawn and quartered. A quarter may have been buried in Dingwall, although very little evidence is available to support this theory.

About two hundred years before the time of Sir Wallace, Macbeth – King of Scotland – was born in Dingwall. Later on a certain historian William Shakespeare made Macbeth famous in his research with a working-title The Tragedy of Macbeth. I understood from Shakespeare’s report the tragedy having been that Macbeth was slain and beheaded. I heard a rumor from some quite trustworthy looking fella in the Mallard, the most prominent tavern of Dingwall, that Macbeth’s head may have also been buried in there.

Dingwall – what a history, what a place!

– Gart

National Art Museum of Catalonia – Barcelona

December 21, 2015/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks,

Culture in Catalonia is beyond me. Messi, Neymar, Suárez… In Catalonia the work of the best known contemporary artists may be viewed at Camp Nou, the home stadium of FC Barcelona. Camp Nou is the largest stadium in Spain by capacity, yet it’s too small for the greatnesses performing in it. In addition to football the Catalonians take Roman Catholicism quite seriously. Sagrada Família, a Catholic church in Barcelona, has been under construction since 1882. I heard from some Catalonians that they want to make sure that the Church will be large enough for the greatness that will perform there once the church is completed. Fair enough, I guess it would be dumb to repeat the mistake they made with Camp Nou. Regrettable I didn’t ask who will be the main performed. Some say that Messi is the greatest – could it be he’s signed a contract to appear also in Sagrada Família?

The huge palace in the photo is National Art Museum of Catalonia (abbreviation MNAC). MNAC is dedicated to Catalan art and design from the 19th and 20th centuries. At least the curators of MNAC have plenty of space. MNAC is the perfect spot to hang out they day after FC Barcelona’s game. Here’s an idea: why not sell combo tickets that would allow an entry to Camp Nou and also to MNAC. If the order is double sized, a tour around the construction site of Sagrada Família would be included.

– Gart

Oriental Pearl Tower – Shanghai

November 22, 2015/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks!

Ai Weiwei’s exhibition inspired me to visit Shanghai in the People’s Republic of China. In the 90’s “Made in China” was a label for a cheap product with moderate quality standards. Oriental Pearl Tower was completed in 1994. I do now know whether the tower was cheap but considering the facts that it was built in the 90’s and that it is “Made in China”, I was not surprised to find out that the tower leans at an angle of c. 10 degrees. In Europe a major construction work was screwed up in a similar manner about 700 years ago in Pisa, Italy. But I guess you learn only from your own mistakes. As I was looking at the peak of the Oriental Pearl Tower in it’s majestic height at 468 m, I got a bit dizzy in my head. Luckily a friendly officer (see the pic below) offered me his services, confiscated my bottle of huangjiu and escorted me to a night shelter. Shanghai is great and so was my headache the morning after.

– Gart

Arlington National Cemetery – Virginia

September 23, 2015/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks,

Not since World War II have there been so many refugees or IDPs as there is today. The crisis is huge and it’s global. People leave their homes for different reasons. For some, it’s the global warming that’s forcing them to seek for safety. For many, it’s the usual reason – wars and violent crisis – that leaves no option but to flee. During the past few months the Syrian refugees have been in the headlines on several occasions as they try to sail across the Mediterranean Sea in unstable rafts to get away from ISIS’ territory. And many of the unfortunate ones have met their death in the royal blue waves.

The EU seems to be too lost in the political quarrelling to do enough for the people who are in need for immediate help. EU’s member states argue on refugee quotas and the right-wing populist groups mess up the debate in a way that it’s sometimes difficult to know what we are talking about here: (i) defending of “national interests” defined by some pinheads OR (ii) helping people whose life, health or human dignity is in threat.

So what are we left here with. Do we have to call USA for help, again(?). I guess we do eventually. The rows of white headstones in Arlington National Cemetery already continue as far as an eye can see, so a non-military solution would be greatly appreciated. Arlington, United States military cemetery is located in Virginia and it is not the most cheerful landmark. But it’s certainly worth a visit. Arlington National Cemetery is a convincing reminder of the costs of a war. Could the troops stay home this time?

– Gart

St. Peter’s Square – Vatican City State

September 21, 2015/0 Comments/in Places/by Gart the Gnome

Hi Folks,

In The Big Lebowski (1998) the Dude himself asked: “Does the Pope sh#t in the woods?” The Dude is a pretty sophisticated guy. After all, there’s a fairly large group of people who follow Dudeism, which has grown from an underground cult to a world religion. But he clearly does not know where the holiness does his business. Or could it be that the Dude says open questions intentionally in order to encourage his followers to find out for themselves. Well, I was a little bit spontaneous and I did travel to the Vatican City State. I did not meet the Pope (he was not home), but I found out this: there are no forests in Vatican City. There’s St. Peter’s Square (photo above), St. Peter’s Basilica (photo below) and some gardens, but no woods! So there’s the answer to the Dude’s question.

While in Vatican, I realized something quite peculiar. Both the Pope and the Dude know this guy called Jesus. Small World, not to mention Vatican City Sate which is super tiny (110 acres, population c. 850, smallest internationally recognized independent state by both area and population). Anyway, Jesus is one of the most quoted men. Thereby, I feel that quoting Jesus Quintana is the only proper way to end this post:

“Nobody f###s with the Jesus!”

– Gart

Stasi museum – Berlin, Germany

August 15, 2015/0 Comments/in Places/by kunkku

Hi Folks!

Right after the Second World War things got complicated for the whole world as the Cold War begun. Germany was split into two: east and west. And so begun the short history of East Germany, or formally German Democratic Republic.

East Germany’s ideology was Marxism-Leninism-Satanic with strong scent of communism and other fishy stuff from Soviet Union (I can’t remember where I read this but I’m sure it was a reliable source). In East Germany the ruling power thought that it needed “protection” and established Stasi, a security service which was unique in its own way. Here’s a few complimentary facts for you:

Stasi (Staatssicherheit, State Security), officially The Ministry for State Security (MfS) was the official state security service of German Democratic Republic (GDR) from 1950 to 1990.

Stasi used means out of this world. It had unrestrained access to everywhere and it spied, threatened and tortured people randomly. Stasi employed officially over 90 000 people at its final stages. But we can only guess how many people carried out tasks for Stasi although they were not on the payroll. In East Germany neighbors literally spied each other and reported the peculiarities to Stasi. Just imagine if your neighbor spied on you. I bet it would not take that long until they would spot something to report – especially if your neighbor had been promised a reward.

But the world changes. When the iron curtain collapsed it was the end of history (thank you Mr. Fukuyama for articulating the clever thought). Communism is so last season in Germany. And today Stasi headquarters serves as a museum.

In the picture above you can see Stasi leader, master of the tin foil hats, Erich Mielke’s office untouched. Ok, to be accurate, the office was untouched until my visit. Erich left the building in a hurry and forgot his three smart phones on the desk. Could there be a more obvious invitation to abuse Erich’s Facebook and Twitter accounts.

-Gart