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Alcatraz - The White House

Alcatraz – The White House

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Hi Folks,

Clint Eastwood went through hell to escape from the federal prison in Alcatraz Island. The escape was captured on film by a marvelous documentarist Don Siegel, and later published in a movie documentary titled Escape from Alcatraz. It’s a classic! Now Donald Trump is trying the same in reverse, when he runs for President of the United States. Oh my dear! There must be a parallel universe where things are the other way around: Donald Trump tries to escape from the infamous Alcatraz and Clint Eastwood runs for president. Just imagine the campaign Clint is running in the parallel universe. This Ennio Morricones composition is played as Clint’s entrance song in a candidate debate: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly Theme. Clint looks right into the camera and says calmly but firmly: “People have got to know whether or not their President is a crook. Well, I’m not a crook. I’ve earned everything I’ve got”. The crowd goes crazy. Crazy is as crazy does and that saying goes for Mr. Donald as well. If Donald Trump was to be placed behind bars, I’m not too convinced that the right place is behind the bars that are placed on the backyard lawn of the White House.

-Gart

Arlington National Cemetery - Virginia

Arlington National Cemetery – Virginia

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Hi Folks,

Not since World War II have there been so many refugees or IDPs as there is today. The crisis is huge and it’s global. People leave their homes for different reasons. For some, it’s the global warming that’s forcing them to seek for safety. For many, it’s the usual reason – wars and violent crisis – that leaves no option but to flee. During the past few months the Syrian refugees have been in the headlines on several occasions as they try to sail across the Mediterranean Sea in unstable rafts to get away from ISIS’ territory. And many of the unfortunate ones have met their death in the royal blue waves.

The EU seems to be too lost in the political quarrelling to do enough for the people who are in need for immediate help. EU’s member states argue on refugee quotas and the right-wing populist groups mess up the debate in a way that it’s sometimes difficult to know what we are talking about here: (i) defending of “national interests” defined by some pinheads OR (ii) helping people whose life, health or human dignity is in threat.

So what are we left here with. Do we have to call USA for help, again(?). I guess we do eventually. The rows of white headstones in Arlington National Cemetery already continue as far as an eye can see, so a non-military solution would be greatly appreciated. Arlington, United States military cemetery is located in Virginia and it is not the most cheerful landmark. But it’s certainly worth a visit. Arlington National Cemetery is a convincing reminder of the costs of a war. Could the troops stay home this time?

– Gart

Times Square - New York City

Times Square – New York City

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Hi Folks,

I teamed up with these guys to fight the first world problems, and there wouldn’t be a more appropriate place to start the fight than the Center of the Universe, namely Times Square in New York City. Our motto is: Worst things first! In the shift briefing the following tasks were assigned.

  1. Iron Man shall be in charge of investigating why on earth 4G service is quite poor in some parts of Manhattan. It’s 2015 and still at times we may find problems in status-updating, tweeting, tindering and what not when there is no 4G service and barely any 3G or even 2G service. Once the cause for the poor coverage is discovered, Iron Man will eliminate it. I know he will, his reputation is on line.
  2. Some ignorant dimwits upstream cabs. But Hulk will put an end to that epitome of selfishness. If you do not know the etiquette for taxi-traveling, stay home! And if you do leave your house and you walk against the flow of traffic to gain an advantage against your fellow citizens, you may have to face with the consequences. Hulk is known for his subtle technique in dealing with matters that require certain firmness.
  3. Do you know the feeling when there are dozens of flavors on serve but you just cannot find your favorite ice cream. Man landed on the Moon in 1969 but fails to manage the logistics from an ice cream factory to the café closest to you. Cookie Monster is just the right person to find out why we are tortured at the counter with replies like: “I’m so sorry but at the moment we do not have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.” And you would like to say bite me, but that’s not an ice cream -flavor, is it!
  4. At times it’s almost impossible to get tickets to Broadway musicals. As you may remember, I visited Mormons’ head quarters called Salt Lake Temple some time ago and I wanted to learn more about Joseph Smith. Now when I’m here I wanted to educate myself by seeing the musical Book of Mormon but is was sold out. Sheriff Woody Pride shall be in charge of forming a task force which will not rest until there are either more musicals or less viewers.

I trust that Iron Man, Hulk, Cookie Monster and Sheriff Woody are up to their tasks, and I may continue my journey by knowing that even while I type this post, there are every-day-super-heroes doing their best to make the world a better place for all of us – even people with really small problems.

-Gart

Washington Monument - Washington, D.C.

Washington Monument – Washington, D.C.

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Hi Folks,

I took my chances with the Agency and visited Washington D.C briefly. I could not believe my eyes when I saw this beauty. I always thought that my old pal, Viking Leif Erikson and my acquaintance Christopher Columbus were the first people to discover North America but surely I was wrong. I also thought that Asterix and the Great Crossing is a fictional comic book but little did I know. René Goscinny and Albert Uderzo should be respected as great historians as they were the first persons to reveal the little known historical event: Gauls discovered the New World in the year 50 BC. How amazing is that! I am still not convinced that Asterix and Obelix are real historical persons but the Gauls who visited North America must have had magic potion which gave them superhuman strength. Otherwise they could not have been able to build this c. 555 feet (169 meters) tall obelisk. In 1889 the obelisk was named Washington Monument to commemorate George Washington. George was a little bit petty and I am sure that he would have wished that the nation had built something gigantic in his honor instead of renaming a historical site after him.

-Gart

Golden Gate Bridge - San Francisco

Golden Gate Bridge – San Francisco

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Hi Folks,

I know, the photo is not the best of them all but my fingers were frozen like Fish Sticks and I could not operate the campera properly. I’ve got two things to tell you folks about San Francisco: Do not call it Frisco or Summer (especially in November). It’s about time to find some place warm – Australia, be prepared, here I come!

-Gart

Venice Beach - Los Angeles

Venice Beach – Los Angeles

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Hi Folks,

Pacific Ocean, the beach, the people, L.A…. Wish you were here! Venice Beach is the only place where I have felt that I’m not being stared at. The place is packed with quite unique people and a small gnome does not stick out from the crowd. By the way, Santa Monica Pier and the end of U.S. Route 66 is right next to Venice Beach.

-Gart

Las Vegas

Las Vegas – Nevada

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Hi Folks,

I thought it would be a good idea to double anything I have. Well… It went all right at first. Mom, if you see this, please send me some money for all in.. I mean food of course! Las Vegas baby, I will miss you but the highway is hot and the world cannot wait!

-Gart

Hoover Dam

Hoover Dam – Arizona

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Hi Folks,

I do not know whether you have heard of Mr. Hoover. Apparently he was keen on building stuff and cleaning. One of the best inventions in the world is named after him. I guess he was a little bit up-tight: “Keep off Wall”. A bit rude I would say. The word “please” would have done it for me. Hoover Dam, yeah dude!

-Gart

Grand Canyon - North Rim

Grand Canyon North Rim – Arizona

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Hi Folks,

This is amazing. I mean, the artcrafts in MoMA have no comparison to this view. Do you hike? No, well maybe you should! Go before it’s too late. Be sure to take enough water with you. And look out for rattlesnakes, scorpions and especially the squirrels which are possibly more dangerous than the Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Bringing your own grenades is not necessary though. Grand Canyon is just great place to visit.

-Gart

Salt Lake Temple - Salt Lake City

Salt Lake Temple – Salt Lake City

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Hi Folks,

I visited one of the strangest cities, Salt Lake City. The main city attraction is the Mormons’ head quarters called Salt Lake Temple. I have heard that there is a musical about Joseph Smith and Mormons on Broadway; I will definitely have to see it to learn more about these weird people. About the photo, you can see me on the edge of the pool (yes, the small white dot wearing a red beanie).

-Gart